~ Amenti Rama ~
Caught in the Web!
The promises of technology are appealing and it is often necessary to
go deep within the «heart» of the Matrix to realize that
they are just that – empty promises, hypnotizing carrots which
prevent us to notice the cliffs we are rushing toward. So this is from
the center of the global spider web that I have the honor to talk about
my adventure with the Internet.
Ah Internet! This «wonderful technology» which allows
people from all over the world to connect in a few seconds. Here's
something which has gone a long way in the past 10 years. When I was
15, I was the only student in my classroom with my very own
«connection» and I was chatting every evenings with
Americans and other virtual beings living in far-away countries.
After a few years I got tired of playing intellectual games, especially
since everyone else was doing it. I was fed up with these purely
superficial relationships, these constant changes of identity, these
games of appearance and these cults of the personality – all the
stuff that made the virtual world of «chats» and
«blogs». I was looking for something more
Thus, at 18 year old, I started making money online! The dotcom economy
had not crashed yet and it was relatively easily to earn money with
some basic knowledge and creativity. My talents in programming –
5 years of experience already – allowed me to automate my
«money factories» and, at 20, I was earning almost as much
as my parents.
My life, however, was a disaster since I had forgotten myself in my
obsession for money. I decided rather precipitedly to abandon
everything and start over from scratch. I sold my websites for $12'000
but, because I proceeded too fast, I never saw the money. Never mind! I
had all that I needed. The 11 September behind, I wanted to pursue a
more «revolutionary» path.
With the money I bought all kind of video hardware and shortly after
launched what I considered to be my dream: an online community for live
video artists, VJs who – like me – projected images in real
time on music. It was the first community around this emerging art
form, and perhaps even the first website which allowed all its members
to publish articles, reviews, news, links, etc.
The website met an immediate success, rapidly attracting several
thousands of members, and a great vision was slowly forming in front of
my eyes: I was going to reconnect people through a platform of
knowledge exchange, which would democratize and revolutionize this art
form! I was on my little cloud and thought to myself that I had finally
found my way to positively help the world.
After several months, it became clear that the code behind the website
would need to be deeply reworked in order to evolve and, since I was
already thinking about founding 5 or 6 similar communities on other
topics – including some more «revolutionary» ones
– I decided to develop a full and autonomous script for
«community management». I didn't know at that time that it
would take me nearly 2 years to complete this huge project.
Fast-forward a few days ago. I finally put the new version of the
website online, with several new features, and prepare myself to quit
the project since, in the meantime, my interest had shifted to
different areas. I await strong effects, because I know that we get
back much energy when we «close cycles». The same evening
energy starts building up so strongly that I catch an headache. I go
for a walk in the cold night, and then come back to take a
And then it comes: I receive a great slap in the face. Having now
enough energy, I see that all my efforts to «revolutionize»
the Internet and TV were vain. I see that I was always under the grip
of technology, that it was defining the rules of the game and not me,
despite my programming talents. The realization is not easy: they got
me. In my illusion, I have fed the Leviathan with my energy and
First of all this «live video art»: I had stopped this
activity for about a year but now the hypocrisy and absurdity is
shocking me. I talked of democratization but at least $10'000 of
hardware – computer, camera, mixer, projector, etc. – were
required to really get started. I felt clever chatting about the
«immediatism» of this «live» medium, but I
needed hours to prepare the video samples that were played. I
fantasized about «remixing my TV» – the ultimate
enemy – but I hypnotized crowds with cold and depersonalized
screens, giving them no chance to explore their own inner world while
dancing – colonizing one more virgin space in their intimacy.
Such an alienation for the passive «spectator» and for me,
the «artist» stuck all night long in front of his computer
As for this concept of «online communities», the idea was
always to help people reconnect to each others in «real
life» but, in all objectivity, this didn't happen very often and
most of the members were happy enough to spend hours on the discussion
forums. We repeated the schemes of the current society where everyone
sits safely in front of a screen; even families are split, each member
getting his own egoistic pleasure while looking at his or her targeted
TV program, chatting with strangers, downloading music or playing at
«life simulations» like the popular «The Sims».
Based on these observations, we can legitimately ask ourselves: does
technology help us reconnect to each others, as human beings, or is it
pushing us to plug to its machines, no matter the rational explaination?
Observing myself, after all these years, I see that I treat my computer
as a semi-god. I am directly attracted to it as soon as I come back
home and I feed it with energy for long hours. If I stay for a long
time outside, by friends, I feel a need to go back home. I always find
an excuse, but it is always related to my favourite drug: the Internet.
With enough distance I can see that one cause for this attraction is
that, with my computer, I have a certain feeling of power and my ego
loves it. I «master» all the softwares that I need and even
some that I don't need. As an experienced programmer, I can even create
my own softwares if those existing don't satisfy my
«needs». And most importantly, thanks to the Internet, I
can influence people all over the world, give them my opinion and even
earn a «living» without leaving my home!
In short I can do anything, well, anything that a serie of 0's and 1's
can do. In our robotized society, this means more and more activities
but it is always within a certain frame. It cannot influence what lives
outside of the Matrix, what is not mechanized. On the other hand, by
making the machine more attractive, by nurturing empty technologist
ideals as I did for a long time, we attract more souls in its jaws. We
end up killing Life as much within than without.
My inner life was decaying indeed; my soul was dying. For years I
didn't know how to do with others. I had forgotten how to be. A sense
of sickness came to me every time that I needed to leave my safe little
world and face creatures of flesh and bones – which reminded me
that, me too, I was made of flesh and bones. I didn't have any manual
on how to «utilize» the other. I only knew how to
communicate with machines, following familiar procedures.
My dreams of revolution were in fact massive illusions. I wanted to
radically change the system but, working within Babylon itself, I had
no choice but to follow the rules of the game. Doing this, I emptied
myself from my energy and disconnected myself a little bit more from my
This gives us a frightening insight of the future prepared for us
– a dark future indeed for those who cherish truth, freedom,
beauty and love – that I share in the hope that you will not need
to dive so deep in this alienation before waking up.
We do not need technology to reconnect to each others, to find
informations or to pass it around. We are already all spiritually
connected and all these activities can be done in synchronicity but it
requires patience and trust in the universe; we must stop listening to
our ego which try to force things on as many people as possible.
This is not by hypnotizing crowds that we will wake them up. This is
not by attaching people to «online communities» that we
will free them. It is absurd to think that the end justify the means
when those very means are radically opposed to the end. What makes us
believe such stupidities? Maybe our lack of willingness to see things
as they are, our tendency to see them the way our ego would like them
The period we live in has much potential for transformations. It is
normal that the Leviathan tries to distort this new energy to its own
end – this is part of the game – but it's up to us to
refuse to be manipulated. The greatest service we can do to mankind is
to undo all these morbid ideals and to have enough confidence in our
inner power to detach from all these technologies. This is the only way
that we can reanimate our soul, leave this system of death and
participate to the creation of a new world.
Once the illusion understood and digested, once we have enough energy
to see what is, the hardest part is behind us. We just have to get rid
of our remaining illusory beliefs, recapitule our energy still caught
in the web, and then act according to this new awareness. Even if we
have to abandon years of hard work, it doesn't matter! We must have
trust that the essential will stay and that the lessons learnt in pain
are forever engraved in our hearts. We thank heaven for these
experiences, we have a good cry, and then we start walking with a light
heart on this new unexplored road.